The Asterisk

The Third Episode...

Later that week we ran into each other at a mutual friend's party. As
we were tearing up the dance floor, the whole #7 situation came up and
we straightened the whole thing out. So I figured I'd let her get a
little payback. So I asked...

Me : So what did you think about me when you first met me?

Her : I thought you were a 2!

Me : Damn a 2!?!? At least I gave you a 7, even though it was a
misunderstanding.

Her : I thought you were a 2 because you said you don't date asian girls.

Now the 2 definitely hurt my ego, even though I'm sure it was all part
of the game. My conceited side won't let me think she really thought I
was a 2.

Later that night I got my confirmation.

We slid over to another spot and we were with a bunch of our friends.
After getting our first round of drinks, we secluded ourselves to a
quaint little spot on the dance floor.

We danced a little and chatted a little. The energy between us was
definitely building. I just said fuck it. I went in for a kiss. There
we were in the middle of the dance floor just enjoying each other's
"company." I thought, Damn! Not too bad for a guy she rated a 2 about
an hour ago.

To Be Continued...

The Asterisk

The Second Episode...

Now this girl was a friend of a friend. I knew I was going to see her again. So I didn't ask her for her number the first night we met. Its one of my new things.

Low and behold, not even a week later we ran into each other at a friend's happy hour. A bunch of us decided to go bar hopping to no avail. We finally surrendered to an empty bar / lounge, that was so empty they let us play our ipods over the sound system. We were bustin moves all night long.

Later in the night this chick grabs the ipod and puts some reggae on and gets me on the dance floor. We start grindin like only reggae can get you grindin and I say...

Me : Wow that was pretty smooth.

Her : What?

Me : I'm sure you didn't just pick this song randomly. You knew what you were doing.

Her : Yah I did. What do you think?

Me : I give ya a 7.

Her : 7!?!?

Me : Yeah I mean it was pretty obvious.

Her : I can't believe you just gave me a 7!!!

Me : Hey I just call 'em how I see 'em.

Now that 7 was suppose to be for her little "I'll play some reggae and grind with this guy." move. I later found out that she thought that I thought SHE was a 7. Oh man, talk about a bad misunderstanding. Let's just say I took an "L" that night.

To Be Continued...

The Asterisk

The First Episode...

This was totally by accident. I swear. I've been saying it for I don't even know how long. Granted I haven't been following it, but still.

"I don't date asian girls."

One night I realized that i had stumbled onto an ingenious move.

I had gone out with a bunch of friends and friends of friends and we were outside this party just loungin trying to figure out the next moves for the night. Then, I said it to my boy in passing. Two girls to my right and two girls to my left had heard it simultaneously.

All of a sudden it was the topic of conversation. Everyone either had a look of disdain or a look of curiosity in their face. It really did bring out that feminine competitive spirit. I still can't believe it worked as well as it did.

We all went to a bar afterwards and one of the girls came up to me and asked...

Her : So why don't you date asian girls?

Me : The last couple of girls I've dated have been asian, and I feel like they're just trouble.

She gives me this very intriguied look.

Her : Well, maybe you just haven't met the right one.

Between that line and the look on her face. I knew The Game was on.

To Be Continued...

Smooth Move Chump

Went to this sports bar and they were charging $5 at the door for showing a fight. This cute little chick was working the door and was marking everyone's hands.

I get inside and realize she drew a smiley face on my hand. I thought, sweet. Cute chick working the door is vibin me. I meet up with my friends and showed them the smiley face. And they just looked and laughed. I didn't know what the big joke was.

Apparently, everyone had smiley faces on their hands.

Everyone thought I was a chump for thinkin the chick working the door was feelin me. You know me. Don't ever tell me I can't make it happen. So, obviously I went up to her.

Me: I thought I was special cuz I had a smiley face on my hand.

Door Chick: Oh yeah. Sorry. She gives me a smile. Do you want me to draw something else.

Me: Sure. I put out my hand. She begins to draw a smiley face with more details.

Door Chick: There you go. She gives me another smile.

Me: Now you gotta autograph it. Just in case you ever get famous, I can say I got an original. I know I know a little corny.

Door Chick: Of course. She begins to sign it.

Me: Nice. Now you just gotta put your phone number underneath that.

Door Chick: She smiles and giggles. Oh I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend.

Me: Oh thats too bad. Hey. You can't blame a guy for trying. She smiles as I walk away.

Now, I know I didn't get the number, but when I got back to my friends and told them the story they thought it was a pretty smooth move. Not bad for a Chump.

Now That's a Cheap Run

I know I know. These stories are suppose to be about my insane trip in and out of singledom. But, I can only do soo much to fill this blog up with content. Besides, this story is just too good not to tell.

A friend of mine was visiting from out of town. My friend, my home girl, and I hit up this bar the night she got in. There were a bunch of us there and we were all maxin and relaxin.

Then I notice that there are these seven guys standin behind me. I'm looking around trying to figure out who they had beef with, but then one of them came up to my friend and told her that his friend was feelin my home girl.

I took a step back, I figure she can handle herself. After a couple of minutes, the seven guys walk towards the back of the bar. My home girl came up to her and she says " Do you know who that is?"

We're both looking at each other with this dumbfounded look. She says, thats Rev Run's kid. You know from Run's House.

I hate reality TV. Obviously, I didn't know who he was and my home girl didn't know either.

Apparently, Jojo (Rev Run's son) told his friend to tell my friend that she and my home girl should come to the back of the bar and hang out with them.

So, my friend and my home girl went over there to hang out. Me and the other guys told them that they better come back with a couple of bottles. I figure he gonna try and act all big baller.

They come back with no bottle. I'm more than disappointed. Their conversation was the pinnacle of how to not kick it to a cool chick.

First off, Jojo was on his phone most of the time and here are some of the excerpts of their conversation.

My Home Girl : So where do you guys live?

Jojo : Jersey

My Home Girl : ewww why do you live there?"

Jojo : we gonna get a place in the city...but we got a big place in jersey

Don't you mean, my DADDY is gonna get me a spot in the city, but my DADDY has a big place in jersey.

Jojo : So how old are you girls?

My Friend : 24 and 25

Turns to his boy
Jojo : Yo they're both older than us.

Yeah these guys were as smooth as sandpaper.

Jojo : We're gonna go to pacha and chill in the VIP. We do VIP all the time.

Rule of thumb. If you make a big deal of pointing out you go somewhere, you're definitely not cool enough to be there.

We chilled at the spot a little longer and my friend was thinking of scheming a drink off of Jojo. So she went to the back of the bar again.

She was chilling with them for a while and she was hinting that she wanted a drink and they never got her one.

After she told me the story I said I guess his allowance ran out, what a cheap bastard. You keep frontin like you a baller with your "i'm gettin a spot in the city" and your "we roll VIP everywhere we go" and you can't even buy a chick you think is fly a drink.

Damn thats A Cheap Run.

The Fantastic 4

Me and my boy roll up to this party. A pretty happening shindig. Free food, free wine, and live music. Side note - My boy is one of the best wing men out there.

Anyways, we're at the spot no more than 5 mins and my boy recognizes this chick, who has a friend. He goes in makes a little small talk and bam! We're in there, like swim wear. Definitely cool chicks but we wanted mingle.

After a while we started moving around the party and ran into a bunch of our friends. I spot this girl standing all by her lonesome. My boy sees me checkin her out and says, naw man, you can't go up to a beautiful chick when she is by herself. He didn't even finish giving me a reason and I had already started walkin over to her.

All you gotta do is tell me I can't do something and I WILL make it happen.

So I go up to her and say "Hi. I need to prove a point to my friend. My boy over there thinks that a guy can't just go up to a pretty girl standing by herself. I think you can. So, just laugh like I said something funny. She laughs. Thanks so much. You're awesome."

As I finish saying it, she takes a glance at my boys and they're all laughing and she blushes. I walk back to my friends and they tell me to go back and talk to her. I was playing it cool and just let her be. My friends walk to the front and I went up to the chick and made a little small talk and got the digits.

That's 1.

We go back upstairs and find the first 2 girls we met earlier, with 2 more girls with them. We end up going to a pizza parlor close by. One of the chicks decides to head home and is trying to hail down a cab. I run over and flag one down for her. Before she gets in I grab her digits.

That's 2.

I get back to her 3 remaining friends and my boy is trying to kick it to one of them. So I gotta run interference with the other 2 chicks. I was getting bored very quickly so when one of the girls asked me my name, I said my name was Paul. She says "No way! My name is Paula!" (Not the name I used and not her real name, but you get the idea.) I thought to myself man this is just too easy.

We end up leaving the pizza place and find our way to another bar. We're there hanging out with them and we make friends with the table of 4 girls next to us. The first group of girls leave and Paula grabs my phone and puts her number in it.

That's 3.

So me and my boy are hanging out with the girls from the table next to us. I'm just sitting in the middle of these 2 girls and we're chillin and I come to find out that one of them is only in town for the weekend. I figure maybe she wants to have some fun with some happy go lucky guys on her vacation. So I got her digits.

That's 4.

Ok. So maybe I questioned my closing skills a little prematurely. All I needed was to get out there and make it happen. Just like I always do.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Yes. It is that time. I am letting Bad Greg come out and play. My recent trip back to singledom has made me throw caution to the wind. Which, will be a lot of fun for me and equally as entertaining for all of you.

The Chronicles won't really change too much. It will still stay anonymous but it will be a bit more current. A lot of the entries in the past have been tales from last year. Now, you'll get them like it was breaking news on CNN.

Ohh baby this is gonna get mighty interesting.

I'm Not the Relief Pitcher, I'm the Closer...

A little break from the usual Chronicles formula I'm actually writing about something that happened recently. Last night to be exact.

I went to a friend's work happy hour event. This chick I knew from HS. She is a kewl, fly chick. So I figured that it would be a nice place to go chick hunting and at worse I'd chill with my friend and her coworkers.

I get there and its my friend and 20 guys. What a disappointment! hahaha. Not to mention the place was filled with suits. So I figured that the chickies would be tough to come by.

But you know me. I always make it happen.

On one of my trips to the bar I get into some banter with this chick. I didn't think anything of it, but I noticed that she was checkin me out from across the bar. She was there with a bunch of coworkers so I figured I'd try and strike up a conversation next time she broke away from the rest of the chicks.

Side note: This is why I need a wing man / wing chick. Life would have been so much easier if I had some back up.

I got a quick chance to talk to her on her way out and she was almost runnin out of the place. But wen i was talkin to her she seemed really receptive and engaged. She seemed like she wanted to talk but she was walkin away at the same time it was the weirdest thing

See my thing is if she was interested don't you think she would have stopped and had the conversation? Its kinda hard to talk to a chick as she is walking away from you.

After mentioning this story to a friend, she said all you had to do is say the right thing. You had to say that one thing to stop her in her tracks. I do have those kind of skills but after a couple of months of being out of the game I already forgot how to close. Very not cool.

I'm not the relief pitcher, i'm the closer... Well I use to be. hahhahah

We Came for a Reason

I made plans to meet up with this girl who was a friend of a friend. We had seen each other at a couple of parties and we would have a little conversation here and there. I thought she was pretty fly. So, I invited her out for some drinks.

We met up just the two of us at this lounge. When we walked in, I asked her if she wanted to sit at the bar or in the booths. I was trying to figure out where her head was at. She wanted to sit at the booths. I was thinking alright. This girl wants to get close and cozy.

We had a couple of drinks. The conversation was flowing and the alcohol was flowing. It started turning into a drunken haze. I would be all into the convo and step back and notice she was sitting right next to me. Get back into the convo. A few minutes later, step back, and I had my arm around her. Then, her leg was on top of mine. Then, we were talking mad close. We were getting closer and closer.



Realizing what was happening, she pulled back. She said a bunch of reasons why we can't let this happen tonight.

I told her, look you know we came here for a reason and we're definitely vibin each other. Lets just chill and let whatever happens happen.

We ended up staying at the bar for a little while longer and she ended up coming home with me. We trained it back to my place. Her stop came up and I said if you really don't want this to go down tonight you could just get off here. She said naw. I want to go home with you. Damn, I guess all I needed to do was say the right thing.

I told this to my boy Rain, and he couldn't believe that I had the balls to say what was exactly on my mind. Not only that but that she actually went home with me knowing that. Sometimes all it takes is saying the right thing.


(By the way, this is THE story that snowballed into this section being on this blog.)

So What You Wanna Do?

"That girl is totally feeling you. You need to take her home with you."

Thats what one of my boy's girlfriends told me. I was trashed. The chick, who was a friend of a friend, was trashed. So obviously I only had one thing on my mind.

I tried to make it look like I was being sociable and I asked if anyone else at the party wanted to head to a spot for some food, hoping everyone would say no, so it would be just me and her. One of my boys, not realizing what everyone else had figured out already, decided to tag along.

We hopped in a cab and headed to the spot. We got there ate and drank a bit more. I asked the chick if she wanted to get outta there. She said yah. So I paid the bill and bounced on my boy. We walked out of the spot and this is how our convo went.

Me : So what you wanna do now?
Her : I don't know.

Me : You wanna head home now or you want to chill a bit more?
Her : I don't know.

Me : You feel like hittin up another spot?
Her : I don't know.

Now at this point I'm gettin a little annoyed. So I just asked her straight up.

Me : You want to go to my place?
Her : I don't know.

Now I was completely confused. But, I still wanted it to go down, so I figured I might as well just make it happen. So I told her lets hop in a cab and start headin towards my place until she figures out what she wants to do. We get to my place and I ask her,

Me : You want to come up?
Her : I don't know.

So obviously I just start walking to my place and she follows me all the way into my apt. So, I figure its a wrap. She down.

Me : So what you wanna do now?
Her : I don't know.

At this point we're both sitting on my couch and I'm completely befuddled at this point. This girl has followed me around all night and I finally get her to my place and she still don't know what she want to do. So I just said fuck it and I went in for a kiss. She pulled away.

Now I'm not annoyed. I'm indifferent. hahahah. I figured she not going anywhere and I'm not getting anywhere, so I put a pillow under her head a blanket over her and I went to my bed and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning and she was gone. If you asked me what the hell that was all about, I'd have to say...

I don't know. haha

She is Dumb Slick

I was chillin at this party with a friend and he was talkin to this chick and I thought she was pretty fly so I asked for an intro. Being the awesome wing man that he is he intro'd me and slid away.

So I'm there kicking my game and the chick seemed pretty receptive. We had a nice conversation for a good part of the evening and I thought she was pretty chill so I asked for her number. And this is what she said.

"I'm sorry I can't give you my number. I have a boyfriend. But you can have my myspace. We could get a group together and have some drinks."

I was more than disappointed, but I didn't want to be mean and tell her no thanks. So I said sure. She asks for my number so she can text me her myspace. Just in case you didn't catch that, she took my number so she could TEXT me her myspace.

Now I was pretty trashed, but even I knew that if you text someone that person now has your number.

Now I've told this story on numerous occasions, and everyone has been split right down the middle on this. Either, 1 - She is incredibly dumb for thinking that texting me her myspace meant she wasn't giving me her number or, 2 - She was extremely slick by giving me her number on the low and she definitely wanted me to call.

I think the most interesting reaction I've had to this story was recently. They said, I want to say that she was dumb. At least if she was dumb, she wouldn't be a scum bag.

Good Slap, Bad Slap

I'm not one to be scared of my age. Since I turned 27, it seems like everyone is telling me I'm either getting too old or I'm just a baby. But I decided a long time ago that I was going to enjoy as much of life as I can. Now. No matter my age. 

Apparently, there were a lot of highlights at my birthday sake shoot and bomb, and after telling Rain a couple behind the scenes happenings he has compelled me to start a little section at the Geek Dunkin' blog about my attempts at finding love, trying to score hot chicks, and getting slapped in the face.

Disclaimer: Yes I know in doing this I am putting some personal shit out there. To try and keep things anonymous these stories will be in no particular order and I will not use any names. But if you're reading this and you know this story is about you, I hope you find the hilariousness in it and realize how awesome the story is. Because when it comes down to it, whether you score with the hottest chick or get slapped by her, the next day, all you got is a dope story. And I hope thats what you guys and gals get from this.

PS - I am ready to get slapped by any one of these girls and if you see me get slapped you know why. =D